Sunday, December 13, 2009

I used to be more outgoing,
and brave.

And I used to be more rebellious,
and arrogant.

Now I'm reflective.

What I Did on 12.12.09

Yesterday I was invited to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party by the drummer of my band, James. I called another friend from the band, Ali and told her of the invite I had received and passed it along to her via voice mail. He called me later and told me that I could come but there was only seven people and it was up to me if I felt like going. I told him I'd call him if I decided to venture on over. Ali never called back and I didn't really feel like going so I stayed in for a while contemplating whether or not I should go.
So, I sat for a bit, ate some food, watched Gangs of New York (eh), and decided to get some cigarettes. On my way to the gas station, I felt like staying out on the road for a while instead of going back immediately after purchasing the cigarettes. The gas station on Brighton Blvd. I was heading towards was closed so I kept on going to another gas station on the corner of Brighton and I-70. I bought my cigarettes a bottle of Naked juice and went on my way. Since I-70 was right there I got on it and drove west for a bit, then I decided to exit off on to I-25 and head north and drive to where I felt I wanted to go. I had the urge to be in the mountains so I exited on to Highway 36 and went towards Boulder. It was a bit windy and my windshield was a bit dirty so driving seemed to be a bit of a struggle. I kept going. I eventually found myself on Baseline going south which then turned into Flagstaff, which I remained on for a good hour or so. I thought it would lead me to the top of the mountain I was winding my way up on, but it only led me over the mountain...deeper into more mountains. This was a bit disappointing. I didn't know where I was going, when I'd stop or why I had decided to do this, but it was dark, it was windy and it was a bit chilly. The road was windy and I seemed to be the only one in the world. I eventually found a dirt road that led me down a windy way. I thought of my a dream I had once that reminded me (somewhat) of this, God, girls, music, and what in the heck I was doing. I decided to pull over at a little pit stop area and just sit on the ground and pray for a bit. The silence was fearsome. It was me, the wind through the pines, the sky and this ominous cloud from the west that was creeping over the mountains. I saw a shooting star and the clouds began to move faster and the wind grew and the cloud grew. It was awe-some. But nothing happened. One car passed by as I gazed at the stars and a weird light (which, at the time I thought were headlights from another car) appeared, but nothing came of it...probably just my imagination. Other than that...nothing. I suppose I expected more. Some kind of experience I could take home with me, but all I have is this: a list of happenings that don't amount to anything, but a story of what I did last night December 12, 2009.
I read Psalm 23 and 24, which seemed to have some kind of coincidental reference, but didn't feel much like interpreting it. I sat for a bit in my car and drove back home. The only thing I loved, was the grand silence. The distractions of the world make God and creation seem so small, but when it's just you, the silence, the wind, the sky, and God...well, you feel very small and insignificant. You understand the phrase "The Fear of the Lord." God definitely feels bigger and mightier.
That's it. Just thought I'd put it down on...screen?