Thursday, July 23, 2009

Deception's Messenger

Tonight, while celebrating birth
a battle occured, small,
as I became alert.
Whether or not this is in mind...
this happening occurs
all too often in my life.
It started like this,
a friendly kiss, by word and time
I spoke with my brother
with a drink and dime.
A bar far away
I admit my sin
I drank too much to write this again.
As time had progressed and
the alcohol pressed
he brought up another brother,
my roommate who I let slip
from my mouth as we spoke of us
even after telling myself that
gossip is slanderous.
Alcohol is poison,
it's the fool's drink.
Whoever drinks of it
will definitely sink.
He told me, so deceitfully,
for this was his prose,
"I was told you were designing
a tattoo for our friend of old."
I knew his statement and
told him this,
it's a work in
He nodded his head
and turned to his purpose
saying, "He told me of another
on his chest,
I heard this."
I must say, my dear reader,
I must confess,
that I have resentment towards
this brother,
I know his motives, I know his tongue
I'm confident in this;
he's a liar against Above.
Both have betrayed my trust, you see.
Forgiveness in this tale is key for me.
But how, my reader, can I pursue
such a task, though Christ is for both me and you?
"Love your enemies..."
Of course! I know!
But, what do I do when
I really don't know?
I hear this and that
and their words seem false...
but I'm not to judge,
I'm not to accuse,
no, I'm nothing at all!
How do I defend myself
especially when I've sinned?
With drink in hand
I'm spinning again.
You see, I want what's good,
but cannot seem to shake
the sin within me
that kills and breaks!
Ah yes, I must add this note,
this gossiper I speak of
Is not a brother at all,
no he doesn't believe in hope.
He is an enemy
once a friend,
we called ourselves "brothers"
and so,
If you read this gossip,
forgive my angst
I'm a sinner for sure,
but you want to see me betrayed!
You delight in my misery,
you delight in my fall,
you delight in the world
and I'm giving myself over
to God...everything! All!
And true brethren, if you read this
forgive me for being so bitter,
so angry,
so hateful to you.
And God, look over what I've done,
I'm nothing,
I'm someone,
I know I'm no fun.
Though I say he's a gossip n' such
What am I speaking
who am I,
with this blog?
Is it for us?
Continuing on from his words as this,
"...he said he wanted a dove on his chest,
with an olive branch."
"Peace", if you didn't get the hint.
"He couldn't help but laugh
when he told my of his plan,
for it's just a phase,
a time, untrue in his hands."
His implication was clear
though he left the truth unknown,
my roommate was never a Christian
just an actor posing as one, so...
am I that ignorant?
Am I that naive?
To not know that this boy
was deceiving me?
Either way, it doesn't matter
I'm called to love
no matter the latter.
But I can't help but feel like a fool,
angry, resentful,
Oh gossiper you've got me good!
Did you want me to feel
not what I should?
Did you want me to fail?
Did you want this written?
Did you want me to spit
curse and be ridden?
So, dear reader I turn to you,
what do you do when you're a fool?
When gossips slander
and deceivers deceive?
When people hate you
for what you believe.
Maybe, just maybe,
this is what we get
for being so strict
with our faith, yet...
How does this hit you?
How do you hear?
Am I just for what I've said
to your ears?
With my faith so weak
and my sins so strong,
how will you judge me
with this long

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Path

I will tell you of a dream
where symbols
and reflections
on the sixth day
of the month of purity
in two-thousand six.

It goes like this:
(Remember that this has since
not been revealed to me.
Under mystery,
I wondered if it were true
being that dreams will deceive
and they will skew.
It was during my reading
of a book of the soul
that it spoke of the dream
to orate it's goal.)

With my comrade
as "The Lord remembers,"
I started on a path
with other members
for our separate tasks.
After a gathering with
familiar faces
and strangers alike,
yes we ventured on
to the paved path of life.
Our means of transportation
were all a bit different
but our destination was the same
yes, towards the innocence.
The terrain was rocky
and mountains reached high.
The clouds were ominous
and they were threatening our lives.
I thought, "We must hurry
for the storm is coming.
The clouds are dark
and the mountains will
come crumbling,
down." With ski-like roller blades
my friend and I went on
skiing past the mass
ahead of them all.
We led the group for a time,
but I had to take a break
I was tired of trying
and a breath I needed before
I could continue riding.
I was disappointed in myself
and disappointed we were being
passed by.
I sat on the ground waiting
to give it another try.
My friend waited for me as the groups
went on.
I saw churches that I never knew passing along.
Now were last, we were behind
on our journey I had to press on.
So we started the way
as it was narrow and winding
passing trees and bushes,
into the frightening.
We passed the groups,
the churches and members alike
we were at the front again
leading like lights.
And on the way to the front
I passed two girls
reading a guide from their
community about the mountain skyline.
With joyful words
and joyful tongues
they read a prayer
from this guide of psalms,
"God is my milk.
He has made us this path..."
And one of them said,
"And those rocks!"
And the other continued the rest.
When she had finished
the girl proclaimed again,
"And those rocks!"
as to not ostracize them.
The other one smiled and agreed,
"And those rocks,"
and they continued behind me.
Off we were with the destination
up close.
My friend, "The Lord remembers"
went on to where the Lord knows.
I was losing control with destination
in sight
I fell of the path again
still standing upright.
But to the right of the road
there was a fire ablaze
and I passed through it
as I went of the way.
With awkwardness I endured
and stayed on the move
where I got back on the path.
The destination was soon.
I finally reached the building
built like a church.
My friend was already sitting,
listening and I perched.
Many people had already come
I must have been near last
for the speaker had begun.
In and out of consciousness;
in and out of sleep,
I heard the speaker do
as his title says: to speak.
"...and God appeared
to Michelangelo in the night and..."
I woke up without knowing
the rest to write.
Half awake I remember hearing,
thinking, feeling a sense
to be close to God.
And I heard rustling of some sort
from the right side of my bed
where something came over to me
as I laid in the said.
I heard its movements rustle
on the sheets as it came over me.
I couldn't see it clearly
but I felt its presence instead.
Going to the back of my head
it covered my ears and with its hands
lifted it off the bed.
I was fully awake,
my heart was in the red,
trying to keep up with this
strange, odd, frightening
I began to pray and repeat,
"Father! Father! Father!"
And after a few seconds the spirit left.
I covered myself with the sheets,
scared, I prayed asking God
what had just happened.

Though I may not know all
of what this dream should suppose.
I will tell you this,
that I'm on path this instant.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Dream of 7.2.9

In a FedEx truck at night,
too late to be working
a rain fell gentle and light

And within seconds it fell
harder then hell
I stopped my truck to let it pass
And within seconds it pounded
loud as noise can sound
and nothing
no, nothing
could be seen.

A white squall was before me
drenching the freight
soaking the seats
Frantically I thought of what to do
I was befuddled by the power this rain could ensue
This was insane
This was unreal
The power this rain punched
the vehicle
would never be healed
So I closed the doors quickly
in naked instinct
and saw nothing but rampant white

And in my distress
in my panic,
in my worry,
in my fear,
in my bewilderment,
and in my instinct,
I released a scream
so loud I could have beat
the rain's stomping feet

This is what I did
when the night fell
and the sky did too
I screamed at the glass
between me and you

When it was over
I walked the streets
without work clothes on
when the town was asleep
I walked, and jogged
to my home
where I saw my roomate's father
on his porch
on the phone,
I could hear some yelling up the way
from a wife to her husband
in mindless array
He got a few shouts in
but not before she'd capsize
the argument to sink them
both with her cries
I thought,
"Such mindless yelling"
it made no sense
I couldn't understand one word
she shouted in offense

I turned to that father mentioned before
still on the phone
where he caught me walking forward
He signaled my presence
and I signaled his
We both understood that I was a witness
Without a word
we understood
if need be,
I'd be a witness

Still on the phone
he turned and away
he explained the situation
across the road paved
And we understood
if it came to it
that I was there
with my ears
as a witness

Figure eight
I walked from the bottom
of one tear drop to the other
to get home
where I'd...
well, I need to go farther.