Tuesday, December 30, 2008

UpDate.

...started going to a gathering of the Bride called Scum of the Earth named from the verse in 1 Corinthians 4:13. This in itself has brought me closer to Christ, to God. I've finally started to get to know Him for who He is and not who I think He is. I've finally started feeling Him as a the I AM...the Being...the Be. We've finally started getting a better relationship...because that's what this is; a relationship. Everyone has a different one and each one is personal and specific. I'm learning that I can find myself in seeking Him. The more I get to know Him, the more I get to know myself. "Seek and you shall find." He wasn't just saying it. He meant it. Seek and you will find. You just have to know what you're looking for.

I also had a few revelations (if you will). First (for my own records), there's the second coming description in Thesselonians and when God comes onto Mt. Herob to Israel. There's a parallel there.
Second, when God feeds Israel with manna (food from heaven) and the imagery of Christ being the bread of life plus the Holy Spirit filling us...these all coincide. There's something there to be seen....oh, and snow. There's something about snow falling and manna falling and His Spirit falling....there's something there too.
Third, the Sign of the Son of Man appearing in the sky in relation to the star that the three wise men followed and the sign of Emmanuel. Something about the moon and its relation with a women's menstrual cycle and virginity...there's something astrological there that I'm not sure about.

Anyway...Happy Holidays and hey...just let go.
No one does it like Him.

-Fletch


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Theme Song

I would like to officially, in writing, claim the song November by Max Richter to be my theme song. If we ever have theme songs assigned to us (which would be cool), I call November. I have dibs on it.

Oh yeah, you should definitely listen to it. Check out Last Days by Max too. It's just as epic and moving. I thought about making it my theme song instead of November, but it...well, it's too general. I will say, however, that Last Days is the noun and November is the action, specifying who I am more than Days.

On a cool side note:
Howard Milktoast decided to make a "100 Things To Do Before I Die" list. I helped him out on number 86. We played battleship for eight hours straight. I won 8 times and he won 6 times, which I find interesting considering the fact that it was number 86 on his list.
Just a little summary; we went to Safeway during this eight hour activity, did laundry while playing, ate snacks while playing, went to the bathroom while playing and I took a shower while playing. It definitely hindered a lot of other activities that I could have been a part of...I wouldn't do it again. Sorry Howard. Thanks for making me a part of your list.

My list to be posted soon!

-fletch.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

11.11.8

So, it's been thirty days without a cigarette in my mouth, let alone my hands. Today is the thirty-first day and I'm going strong. Quitting, F.Y.I., is not easy. Anyone who isn't up for letting go a part of their psyche isn't up for quitting. I've given up a whole mentality that smoking has been a part of. You never realize how small of a thing smoking has reached it's tentacles into. Yeah, smoking's like this black wart inside of your brain that starts wherever you let it. For me it was "coolness." It went from that to a many other sparks/triggers that just led back to that one source inside of my head where it all started. It's an evil thing. Yeah, that's right I'm putting it in a box and labeling it. You know what? I'm going to even put a bow on it, just to mock it. Smoking is wrong. All you pantheists and relativists out there can chew on that.

What's up with winter? Where is it?
And a piece of my heart
Has been extracted for good.
And I couldn't replace it with a drag of anything
But replaced it with God for He's all I've got
anymore
And I'm slowly being severed
from everything I know
I'm slowly dying so that I may live
And it's sad and it hurts
But I can't keep the shards inside
Or else I'll never be able to heal
I'm killing my flesh
By killing my wants
And I'm living in it's death
By conquering over it
With The Ghost of Hosts
I'm turning into myself




Saturday, October 11, 2008

Intentions For Reason (For Zach and You)

Intentions and reason; some very important ideas.
We all have intentions and we all have reason,
leading to a purpose like the ever changing seasons.
Life I say! Love is our lesson.
Love is the greatest gift ever begotten.
For in our lives we find love and hate.
Love gives where hate takes away.
Now, ponder this my reader, you see,
is there not a reason for the lives we lead?
Those who say "no" I respect your candor,
And I see you wandering aimlessly without an owner
For not even you own yourselves
You let everything take you like chaff in the wind.
And I bet that you still intend to do certain things
How do you expect to accomplish them without reason?
So reason must be in every being
For with it brings a new kind of meaning
Ah, but it must not stop there
For what do you intend to do now that you are aware?
Take a look at those around,
Can you ever tell what they intend to sound?
Who's voice do they represent?
Theirs? Or someone else you have not met?
What about love again?
Don't say you've never felt it bring you in.
For love let's you breathe, it let's you sin
A choice I'm glad I don't have to make.
Speaking of choice, how do we choose?
What I ask, would love do?
And what of words?
Do they have meaning?
If not then what am I seeing?
Math, creation, love, lust...
Everything from A to Z
Alpha to Omega
And every language in this world
Who created the thought of word?
Communication is key you see,
So relationships may be establish within thee
I'll take a break on this subject for now,
But remind me where I left off at;
Words in reason
Words intentions
Words in Love
How I ask, how?




Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Conspiracy Hypothesis

The 30th day of September in the 8th year of the millennium,

Yesterday the Denver Broncos played the Kansas City Chiefs...and Denver lost. It was actually quite shameful. Everyone expected Denver to win this game, because of both teams stats. The thing that's been bothering me since I watched it though was...did Denver lose on purpose? Not because I wanted them to win and losing only means that they lost on purpose because I can't accept them losing, but because it looked like they weren't even trying.
Let's look at this. Chiefs aren't a top team...they're underdogs. Now, when an underdog wins I'm happy, so I'm not extremely disappointed that Denver lost. It wouldn't be the first time an underdog team won against a top team. So, ya' never know...Kansas City could start surprising us all and start winning a lot. This would be a great feat for any underdog team especially if they did it on their own.
However, what if it was all fixed? What if Denver purposely lost because money said so.
Here's what I know: we have pools. We have football pools. We guess who's going to win by a team's stats or we just plain guess without research. This way of betting has become more and more popular each year (by observation). We have fantasy football and we have various kinds of pools.
Question: how far does this go? How far do these pools go? Who does these pools? I know I'm a part of one. What I'm wondering is...could it be possible for these pools to even go to the big guys? The players...the coaches...the owners...the sponsers...the franchises? What if they had pools, or were a part of smaller pools? Now, considering the way money works among us and the way money works among corporations and such I could see them working within the teams planning out the wins and loses. I mean they have the power don't they? They have the control. As long as they're putting money in the mouths of the players, coaches and whoever else...they won't talk.
How do they determine who's going to win and loses? I'm guessing by the amount of people betting on each team....I can see and think of a lot of things that play factors in this. A lot of variables. What determines what, who determines it, why they determine it...and so on and so forth.
Mind you, I'm not a fan of conspiracies because of the paranoia that arises from it all...because of all the confusion. Because of all the rumors that start from it. So, I'll say this. This isn't a theory...it wasn't proven. It's just a hypothesis and by no means has any validity to it. This is just a blog and just some thoughts. That's all. Let it be as such. If you feel like proving this on your own terms do so, but I must warn you...you will make enemies. The moment you start accusing people; the moment you start suggesting something to someone as true when it could be false...you'll start arguements and wars.
I wrote this for fun...something to shrug off and ponder.

-Fletcher Joshua

Sunday, September 21, 2008

9.21.8

The blog. It used to be called a journal, or a diary. Remember that? Or was that before your time? It's almost before mine. I'm twenty-two and I find myself separating from the written word. I find this to be sad.
I heard that people used to send written letters to each other in the past. I hear that there are a few who still do. Oh, how I'd love to receive a letter from someone in their own hand writing.
I'm among those who strive for individuality and self-dependence, yet we lean ourselves on to this thing we all call technology. I miss the way men used to earn and work and live and I never was apart of it. I feel as if I was born in the wrong era. I'm old fashioned. My morals are old fashioned. I still believe that a man is a man and woman is a woman. I believe in chivalry and respect. I still think that the elders know more than we do when it comes to living. This is called wisdom...
Whatever, I'm just ranting. I've nothing to say as of right now...sometimes we should just leave it at that. Why talk when you have nothing to say? Like listening when you can't hear.

Love In Christ,
Fletcher Joshua

Monday, September 8, 2008

9.6.8

I’m struggling with my struggles. I’m at war with war. I’m at war with myself and all of those who I think are opposed. I want to be right when I know I’m wrong. I base my opinions off of things that I read and off of you and your opinion of me. I want to learn from you but I’m afraid you could be wrong and I’ll learn something that could destroy us all. Or maybe you see something that I don’t, how am I to judge this properly without the judgment of myself? I can’t stand it when I judge you and I can’t stand it when you judge me. Most of all I can’t stand it when I judge myself. So I’m trying to erase judgment from my being. But there will be a day when my judgment is required so what then? Do I say, “Anything I choose will be okay in the end?” Life is made up of choices and I didn’t choose to be born. But I can choose to die. What is living when you want to die?
I get in arguments with others and myself about what’s true. About what’s right and about what’s wrong. I’m caught in between to sides of a judgmental hell. One says that it’s all relative and everything is okay, nothing is right or wrong and “your truth is true even if you decide that a tree is a T.V.” The other gives accusation after accusation of what I’m doing wrong and what I should’ve done right. There is a truth of the matter. Do you understand how this can be a difficult fight? For me it’s about the core of what these ideas propose. What is the intent and what will truly help us all? I fear that if all truth is relative then we’re in for a big surprise filled with chaos, anarchy and death ruling our lives. But you still stand next to this philosophy even after I say that you’re stating an absolute, which means that not all truth is relative, because you just gave me an absolute.
So what should I do? Should I do what I want even if that means killing you? Even if that means destroying everything you love and hold dear to you? Because this is true to me and would erase you from my argument shutting your words so you’d never talk back to me. But that can’t be right! MAY IT NEVER BE! NO! Even if I was born to hate everyone all my life, there’s a truth to the matter and I’m bent on finding it’s light. But I can’t tell you what to do! I can’t make you understand! I can’t make you believe what I believe! This is my struggle and I can’t do anything! I can’t do anything! I’m stagnant and I don’t want to be! I can’t go this way or that way without feeling the condemnation of myself and others. And just because someone says one thing and someone says another doesn’t mean any of them are right. WHAT’S THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER I SAY?! WHERE IS IT HIDING?! You say it’s relative and I ask you if that’s true, if you say yes then how I ask you? How? You say there’s an absolute and I ask you if that’s true and you say no then how I ask you? How? You say this is true and I ask you if it is and you say yes then how I ask you? How? You say this is not true and I ask you if this is true and you say yes then how I ask you? How? You see, I’m fighting something bigger than you and me and there are others out there that do it without ever knowing why. I’m doing it for myself and I’m doing it for you. I’m doing it because we deserve the truth. Because I can’t stand it when someone lies to me and you may know what I mean.
Oh boy, I’m struggling. Oh man, have I been fighting it. I’m tired of our outlook on each other and our outlooks on life. I’m tired of the war that seems to hide itself from our eyes. I’m seeing confusion take our minds so we may never understand the purpose of our lives. Woe to those who give in to what they’re told without research, thought, and understanding. Woe to those who fight for something they nothing about. Woe I say! WOE! Woe to me and woe to you, we’re in for a big surprise.
With so many opinions, with so many ideas, with so many religions, with so many philosophies, with so many lies, how are we to ever get anything right? Choose this and that, well I tell you I’ve been promised an eternal life. I’ve been promised many things, who will deliver them in the end for me? I’ve been promised that that there will be no promises. Where is the hope for something better? Are we afraid to be let down? I am, I know, and it happens all the time. I let myself down. I’ll certainly let you down if this is the case. So there is no hope in the human race. Our hope cannot be found in ourselves for we are all liars bound to fail. Life hands us surprises that compromise our mouths. Oh, but now you feel me leading you towards a higher power. Sorry, I can’t rely on a human any longer.
There are scales, balances, and weights for issues. Lean this way and you have this and lean the other way and you’ll have that. We are all bias and we let ourselves get in the way. How are we to judge anything in just if this is the case? I say, with truth, with facts that are what they are, like a detective searching out a crime for the law…for justice. Take the simple matter of cigarettes. I smoke them as of right now. Can I tell you not to? Or will this judgment come back to me saying, “Well you do, so what gives you the right to tell me? You say I should, but you don’t do it yourself. You hypocrite! I’ll do what I want since that what you seem to do as well.” I tell you to ignore me and ignore yourself. It’s one of the most difficult things to do. What is the truth of the matter? What are the facts that can be proven? Those who promote and are for the act could say that it’s a stress release, a think stick, it makes me look cool, and a thing to do when there’s nothing else to do. Or what if the industry that creates these objects give other things like money, to those in need? And those on the other side say, “does this make smoking any less of disease?” These are the facts of what it will do to you, to me and others who use these things. Smoking is nothing but a hindrance to health. Even though I smoke I DO NOT THINK IT IS SOMETHING ANYONE SHOULD DO. I should know, I do it. It doesn’t help me. It’s a false sense of relaxation that lasts for a minute. It’s destroying my health…physically and psychologically. Why do I do it? Because I’m addicted and giving it up is damn hard to do. I know I should, but I can’t get myself to do it. The point…the truth of the matter is that no one should smoke including me. I am not separate from this judgment you see. You shouldn’t smoke because I say so, but because, truthfully, it won’t help you. In fact, it will hurt you. My punishment will come. So, my argument is, if truth is relative then smoking is neither good nor bad. It’s smoking. It is what it is and if it benefits you then go ahead and do it. Those who say this are promoting it more than they are anything else. They say they’re on the fence, which is why it makes their view so dangerous, because they don’t care about what you do, but only themselves. But you won’t see very many people who believe in a relative truth promoting cigarettes because they have an innate moral nature that says otherwise. Saying that it’s true for you doesn’t mean it isn’t a lie. I realize this and want to know the real truth because of this fact.
Going back to judgment. Does giving me the truth about something give me the right to judge the person who goes against it? By no means! I have no right to judge you as a bad person because you do something bad. “Hate the sin, not the sinner.”
“Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”
Like I said, those who are on the fence are the most dangerous. Especially the one who knows the truth but chooses the fence. He doesn’t want to help you. He doesn’t want to be decisive; because this would mean choosing a side and the other side would be against him. He wants to look like he’s neutral and let’s us do what we want when he knows perfectly well what the truth of the matter is. He could help us you know? He could help guide and direct us in the right direction, but he won’t. Why? Because that would mean commitment to a side. That would mean standing up for someone or something. He stands up for himself and he thinks you should to. He’s a liar and a deceiver. He says stand up for yourself…LIKE ME. He stands on the fence, but he has his own side, one that you can’t see until your on the fence with him. You’ll realize that the fence he’s on is one to throw you off of. One to throw you into the side that goes against helping you. He’ll say, but this was really the truth and you ignored it for your own benefit. Down you go. Oh, the Lord rebuke this person! He is the one that is jealous of man, of God and anyone else…

Alright, so here’s a thought: I’m going to use baseball as an example. One may know how to throw a ball and catch a ball with a mitt, but can you play the game of baseball without knowing how to play? One must teach another how to play in order to play the game. Otherwise you’ll be aimlessly catching and throwing the ball around without knowing why, let alone how to play the game. Also, maybe you can hit the ball…but what then? What are the rules? What next? The same—I believe—goes with life. There are a lot of people who know how to love, but why do you love? How do you love and what are the rules of the game? I know many people who show love and demonstrate love in what they do, but do not know who love is, or what love truly is. They do it, because someone’s taught them what love is. How do you love another? What is love to you? Is it love, or is it a false sense of what love is? These are questions that must arise in order to find the truth. I believe that everyone has the potential to love, but it’s a matter of recognizing it as such and doing it for the purpose of love. EVERYONE. Think about it for a bit and get back to me.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Fletcher, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus our Lord, called as a messenger for the Bride, the Body, the Church of Christ Jesus and the woman servant Israel.
Greetings, peace and grace be with you in our King's holy name. I pray these words find you in love and edification, pleasing in the eyes of God.
I see our spiritual, physical, and emotional suffering for what we claim and stand for and I pray for you with the hope that God our Father and Lord will deliver thee from the snares of death.
My family and friends, I do not want you to be unaware of the world's current attempt for our decay and destruction.
For we are constantly being pushed aside with the intent of making our faith insignificant and false. They do not know, they do not understand though they claim they know even more than us.
In my struggle, though I am weak, have seen our faith challenged and persecuted with mockery and hate.
The world, I say is at war with itself.
I pray you all can endure through this all and will keep your spirits up in Christ. Though we fall, we shall rise again.
Just hold on a little longer and I'll try preparing your flight for the Lord.

=--}-->
In Christ's Name,
In thanks and love to the children of this world.