1) Recently, I've been meditating on this verse "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge, my fortress, my God in whom I trust!"
2) I found this entry in one of my computer journals during this morning's sleepless night. I was shocked to read what I read. I had forgotten about what it had said and how I interpreted it.
3) The last blog post is relevant.
4) I'm not lying.
I’ll start off this entry by saying that I’m nervous about entering it. You see, I deleted my vast volume of dreams a while ago with the intent of letting go of a presumption about God and myself in order to get closer to Him. Simply: I read into things too much and dreams happen to be one of these things. With my proud and idolatry manor of reading into things, I seek for myself and not God. So, saying these things I’d like to pray, God, that You forgive me for writing this down if it isn’t going to glorify you. I hope that this dream isn’t bad and that it’s only to help You and me and our relationship.
In the dream I was with my mom (I think) and I was outside near an area where we could sit. There was an average looking elderly man with his wife. He was wearing a maroon shirt and had a little bit of a belly. He had glasses. His complexion was darker and he and his wife were talking to each other. I was near, so I happened to be listening with interest. He was a jolly happy man and his wife was a jolly happy woman. She wore glasses too. He was talking with her and I remember him say, “eternal.” We some how were introduced. I got up and felt moved to hug him; to just hug him. I grabbed him and held him for a bit, but it turned around and he began holding me and praying for me. I can’t remember what he said, but he suddenly began praying for me as if he needed to. I felt a very wise, comforting, and loving feeling from this man. He was very…down to earth. While he was praying I started crying and after he was done I fell to my knees and couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t happiness, but rather sorrow. It wasn’t dread or dismay, but just…feeling emotional about the prayer. He put his hand on me and I continued to cry. I remember seeing a whole group of people around me, surrounding me looking at me. I was on one knee and couldn’t get up, nor did I want to. I look around with the feeling that they were witnessing what I never understood, but what they all did and it brought me to my knees.
I was with my comfort, my shelter, my protection and guidance near my indecision where I would sit and idle about the road to come. There was a wise, spiritually powerful man wearing courage, bravery, heroism and strength. He was in a marriage relationship that was happy, light-hearted, true and real. They laughed, joked, conversed, and discussed about things. They both could see clearly, though the wife needed help seeing all the time, the man didn’t…only some of the time. Some things he didn’t need help seeing. He spoke of things eternal to her and together they talked about it. I got up from my idling and indecision and began to love and care for him. He in return began loving me and nurturing me. He called on higher help to help me let go of my worries. He represented how I perceive my wisdom and spiritual power. His relationship with his wife is how I wish I could have relationships with my discord and unresolved issues…in humor, happiness, laughter, discussion, conversion. It’s what I lack or what I think is missing. While he was calling on higher help I began healing in humility. I was emotional and sensitive and close to both him and a part of myself. Then various aspects of my character and personality began merging. I was open to this influence and to others and was humble and didn’t want to not be. I looked around with the feeling that my character, personality, and others were witnessing what I never understood, and it humbled me...it healed me.