Sunday, August 23, 2009

Where The Men Come and Go Talking of Women Without Clothes

It should be expected that today I was going to write about last night. It was the last word before the punctuation mark and I'm not sure If I like what was said...

After returning from the sun itself (Phoenix) and being removed from my common routines, I felt a new sense of strength to do what I've never done face the flames and jump off the high dive. It was exciting and frightening, but I wanted to do it so much that I started looking for reasons to "Fear not." To do, say, or think without feeling frightened. To put my hope and trust in God's hands and let my fears become weak before not let them own my decisions and overwhelm my ways. I felt a longing to stand for what I believe and a longing to start moving and not let my "Learned Helplessness" keep me from being the resilient, strong, valiant, faithful, humble, joyful, courageous young man that God and I, both, would love to see.

But of course, I'd actually have to be challenged. This wouldn't be able to happen overnight nor would it be able to happen without a real challenge. So be it.

I've thought about the phrase "a wolf in sheep's clothing" in many different facets, but the one that I've thought about lately is "a sheep in wolf's clothing." Now, what this exactly means...I'm not sure, but it sounds interesting doesn't it? There's probably some moral/ethical/heretical/whatever reason why this phrase may be completely ridiculous, but the reason why I thought of it, isn't. I don't have very many Christian friends. There are many reasons why this is and they're mainly because I'm not making an effort to get to know my brothers and sisters. I'm a lone sheep, not a lone wolf, a lone sheep amidst a pack of wolves. Yes, they know I'm Christian, but in order to be a wolf you've gotta' look like a wolf and that's about as far as I can go. I certainly can't act like's against my nature. This is one piece of clothing that I would no longer like to wear...I'm working on it.

And what about last night?
Oh, the celebration with gold!
A birthday! A birthday!
Someone's twenty-one year's old!
Let us drink tell we drop
and let us all track for sex
We shall spend the whole night
promoting our deaths!
"For life is short
and we must live like fools.
So here's to living
against the Reason we choose."
But I said nothing,
my lips were shut.
Criticized for not wanting
to be a part of this
I chose to not fuss.
I was weak to my fear
of saying "no."
And it was my friend's birthday
how could I refuse it so?
Such a cold response,
"What else would you do?"
If I could just say,
as a matter of fact,
I'm going to stay at home
and stay away from your acts.
I want no part
of your celebration.
Happy Birthday my friend,
but I cannot celebrate it
like that."
But on I went
towards the slaughter.
Where my blood would
be crying out to my Father.
Make no mistake,
I make them a lot.
I do not justify myself
for what I sought.
Drink after drink
I lost myself.
Drink after drink
they had the upper hand.
This is their nature
and they live it well,
"Let us watch women
undress themselves"
O Lust!
The Lord rebuke you Lust!
I was dragged to the grave
and there was Lust.
With no ride,
with no car,
too drunk for one
and weak for the other,
darkness hugged me into
Where there were women
undressing themselves.
Wolves at dinner,
wolves at play,
wolves a sinner
wolves their prey.
So outside I stayed...

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